Friday, August 14, 2015

He Makes Me Lie Down in Green Pastures


Nashville, TN.

Well, I'm still alive. It's funny how a lack of online presence can really make people think you've fallen off the face of the earth. 10 years ago, the idea of having an "online presence" didn't even factor into my daily life. I'll never forget sitting across the table from my friend John Mays at a Starbucks on my first trip to Nashville in 2005 and hearing about Myspace and Facebook for the first time. Times sure have changed.

There have been a few reasons for my absence both on the blog and on social media. First, I just needed a break. I don't think the human mind was designed to be bombarded with information every nanosecond of every day. Constant scrolling, reading, absorbing, and comparing isn't necessarily healthy. So I took a break. And honestly, I've loved it. I don't think I'll be back on twitter and instagram everyday. It's just too much for me. But this blog is something I've missed, and I definitely want to be better about posting.

So much has happened in the last few months--not the least of which is the fact that my husband and I are expecting Baby #3! We are so thrilled, and I can't wait to meet this little one in March!!!

On that note, I've had pretty crazy morning sickness for the past few weeks. We're talking, I can't walk more than 5 steps without gagging. Anyone who has seen me play a show in August has probably thought, why is that poor girl dry heaving in the middle "He Knows My Name?" Well, now you know why. :)

I struggled with "morning" sickness with both of my other pregnancies, but this one takes the cake. It's been non-stop, y'all. Mamas, doctors, nurses--I welcome any and all advice that you can give.  I've tried essential oils (which you know I love, but I currently can't stand the smell of anything), eating protein every hour, the Unisom/B6 combo, and eating watermelon, and nothing has helped significantly. I feel good for approximately one hour in the morning right when I wake up, and 1 hour at night right before I go to bed, but the rest of the day is pretty much misery unless I'm lying in bed.  Even then it's iffy.

The hardest part of this for me has been feeling like my life is on hold. It's one constant cycle of waking up, trying to eat, hugging the kids, going back to bed and watching more TV than I'd ever care to, and wondering if I can make it through a shower without throwing up. Then back to bed. It's HARD. I like to be in constant motion--cleaning, cooking, organizing, working, going, doing, accomplishing, being productive. I don't like feeling helpless. The fact that I've made it through 7 shows in the last few weeks is only Jesus. I've walked onstage for almost every one thinking I couldn't physically do it, but miraculously, He's gotten me through every one.  Even when the sun was beating down right on me and my black stage clothes for 60 minutes, and I thought I was going to pass out. God is faithful.

I was talking to my mom this morning and telling her how I feel like I just can't function, and how it's been so hard to be helpless. It doesn't feel natural. I just want to accomplish something. She reminded me of one of my favorite Psalms. Psalm 23:1-3a says, "The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me besides the still water. He restores my soul."

She said, sometimes the Lord makes us lie down in green pastures. He doesn't give us a choice but to rest. And we shouldn't run from it. Maybe He just wants more time with me. Maybe He wants to speak to my heart. Maybe I should turn off the TV and turn up the worship music and just listen to what He's saying in this season. Yes, its hard. No, I don't want to go through this for one more minute. But if Jesus is my shepherd, and He's making me lie down in green pastures right now, then I will soak it up. Because he also restores my soul. I'm believing for that in this season. What are you believing for?

Francesca

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell[a] in the house of the Lord
Forever.

(Top photo found here.)


18 comments:

  1. Dear Francesca.

    I am so happy for you and your pregnancy on your 3rd child. When I saw your Twitter post a couple of days ago, I could help but be in excitement for you and your whole family. I wonder if you are going to have another boy or girl? And have you started thinking of names for future Goodwin? Can't wait for your new family member. I hope you get to feeling better soon. Lots of love coming your way #FanFriendOfFranny.
    Julia Kuntson

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  2. Oh Francesca, I feel you! I was so sick with my son. Nothing helped me but stuffing my face at all times and even that would only make me feel better for 30 minutes if at all and then I had to stuff my face again or just let all out if you know what I mean... and I know you do. :-) I only have one baby (boy) so I am a little intimidated at the thought of being pregnant again with a toddler that needs a lot of attention. I am praying for you! I don't know if they have them in your area but I survived off Bojangles grilled chicken sandwiches and green beans. So random, I know... I had never even been there in my life before my pregnancy. Ha! Hope that doesn't make you gag reading this but it worked for me. The green beans have a little kick to them and it just tasted so good to me. Much love!
    Lisa, Atlanta

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  3. p.s. Now might be a good time to start writing that book that we all want you to write since you have some down time. ;-) I read your Mom's book and it was great. No pressure! :-)
    Lisa, Atlanta

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  4. Congratulations on Baby Goodwin #3! That's so exciting! I'll be praying for a healthy baby and healthy momma thru all this! Hopefully you'll feel better by September 19th...#SeeYouThere! 😘

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  6. A HUGE congratulations on your bundle of joy!! I just love babies, they are truly a gift from God. All of my favorite singers, including you, are having babies. So exciting. You may not be having a girl, but I just love the name Haven Grace for a girl. Nolan Luca is a cute name for a boy too. :) I pray that you have a smooth pregnancy and the sickness goes away. I am so excited to see you on November 1st on the Live Forever Tour. You were amazing at Winter Jam in Ft Wayne, Indiana. 💜

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  7. Have you tried magnesium for morning sickness?

    http://www.mommypotamus.com/the-real-cause-of-morning-sickness/

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  8. When I was really sick and pregnant what helped me was NCD , it's a clay product that helps pull out toxins in your body that may be adding to your overload. I was sick similarly to you and on top of that I have a history of cyclic vomiting which in short vomiting until dehydration and hospital stay. I got through my pregnancy with NCD baths. Twenty minuets in the tub, 2 drops of NCD. water that is body temperature. If the water is too hot you can pull to many toxins out to quickly (testing the temperature on your wrist is my tried and true method ) After 20 minuets rinse off in the shower. You should do this every other day. On the days in between I also did an Epsom salt soak. The temperature of the temperature of the water for that is not as important, but it helps you relax and gives your body a rest. You can get the NCD from www.waiora.com. I will be praying that this helps you find some well deserved relief.

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  9. I am not a mom, so I have not personally had to deal with morning sickness, but I am constantly hearing my mom telling women who are pregnant to drink lots and lots and lots of water. I hope that helps. I am really sorry you are so sick :(

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  10. Congratulations!!!! :D so excited for you all! Praying everything goes well

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  11. You said in your blog "I just want to accomplish something." Well don't forget .. you ARE! You are growing that beautiful baby #3 and for some reason, God wants you to rest and be still! Or being up and moving (in your concert) but totally dependent on Him! When you're frustrated, just remember that it won't last forever. And it will be totally worth it! Congratulations and I will be praying for you!

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  12. I'm sooooo happy for you!!!!!!!!! I will definitely be praying for you. That was such a cute picture that you sent in the newsletter email! Who drew that, Eli or Audrey (or both)? I am not a mom, but I have used espom salts like somebody else posted, and it is very relaxing.

    Abigail :)
    P.S. I hope I get to come to your show in Naperville!

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  13. Enjoyed your music at Livin Out Loud! Congrats on baby #3! With my first three, I was pretty sick for the first few months. Then with #4, I was not sick at all. I am wondering if it was maybe because I still wasn't eating much milk and soy in my diet since my third child had MSPI. Prayers for you!

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  14. This is an interesting article about the balance between acid and alkaline in the body of a pregnant woman, and how too much acid contributes to morning sickness. Maybe you need to flush those toxins out with some good ionized, alkaline water.

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MRG4c24TonswnndKfQgHa10i9TscwmajG0u-HSr5yb4/edit?usp=sharing

    You might have to copy and paste since I can't figure out how to make it a link. Sorry about that.

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  15. I am similar, in a sense, it is been difficult, having to take rest recently, wanting to be I am a very much a person, productive, accomplish things, organize, cook, making friends, exercise, getting a lot of things done.
    I have accomplished things I set the goal, usually, some usually better than others, some I want to revisit. I started sining Karaoke, practiced few songs, thought of doing open mic. I started learning somethings about guitar in a sense, somethings like notes on guitar, notes for making chords, arpeggio… as I remember it just wowed me the flow I learned the these in two weeks, I can have one explanation for this flow of it, Jesus.
    It is amazing and Jesus alone, I got to get better singing like everytime specially since I got in
    Nashville. It is Jesus power got me through singings at times, being outside felt like not having strength to go sing. Felt like staying home, or Starbucks, getting weak, putting on weight and by his power, sing karaoke. It is difficult season, I think I believe in “He makes me to lie down in green pastures;”
    It was difficult to respond, or to think to respond to your blog, I really enjoyed reading it. I was thinking to reply to some emails I got from church members and pastors, that put off maybe for couple days, tried to think of response and motives and reasons, and you have first line of your blog( It's funny how a lack of online presence can really make people think you've fallen off the face of the earth) It is blessings to be able to be connected with his people online, over the phone, in the church, in a sense having relationship with his church.
    May God bless you (grant you, your heart’s desire) and keep you and congrats for having a little one on the way

    Ryan

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  16. Find rest, my soul
    Put your hope in God
    Put your hope, put your hope in God

    Abigail

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  17. I saw you and your band at Chick-fil-a in Jackson, TN last night (Oct 7). I wanted so bad to talk with you but I could tell you weren't feeling well. Prayers that your pregnancy gets better soon! My second one was all day sickness for the first 16 weeks so I feel your pain. I can't imagine trying to tour while feeling like that. Try a small dose of Phenergan to take the edge off but not knock you out. You are such an inspiration and I love that my daughters (ages 15 and 11) LOVE your music!!! Hopefully one day we will make it to a concert!!
    Shawn B TN

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  18. Congratulations on your expected baby. That Psalms holds some memories for me as well as encouragement. We had a song based on Psalms 23, which was sung at my Grandmothers funeral. But in day to day life it is very encouraging. Sometimes we just need to take care of ourself, even if that means more rest or less work. Take care.

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